CHAPTER TEN

A Young Man Surprised

The house was very quiet. The Collinses had been gone a long time to Lady Catherine's and Elizabeth was sleeping. Suddenly, she was awakened by the sound of the doorbell. She was quite amazed when the servant announced Mr Darcy. In a hurried and nervous way, he began to ask about her health, saying that he had come to wish her better soon. She answered him politely but was very cold. He remained sitting for a few moments, then got up and walked about the room. Suddenly he approached her in a very nervous manner.

"Miss Bennet—Elizabeth—I cannot fight something, even though I have tried," he said. "I am not strong enough. You must please allow me to tell you that I admire and love you."

Elizabeth's surprise was truly great. She stared at him and went red in the face. But she could not speak and was silent.

"Miss Bennet, I have tried to stop feeling this way about you. I have been raised since I was young to believe that I must marry someone of my own position and wealth. I'm sure you know that I am a proud man, Miss Bennet. You must understand that your relations trouble me greatly. Their condition in life is very much beneath my own. I came to London to forget you. But I cannot do this! And now it seems I have been made to return to you. Miss Bennet, please say you will marry me—"

"No!" cried Elizabeth.

"No?" repeated Darcy. Suddenly his face went white.

"Are you surprised by my answer?" asked Elizabeth coldly. "Had you already decided that I would accept? Mr Darcy, Those feelings that you say you have for me are unacceptable."

"You don't believe me!" he shouted, fixing his eyes on her face.

"I have never wanted your good opinion of me," Elizabeth continued. "Also, you tell me that you do not even wish to have it—that you like me against your will—"

"I ask you to think about—"

"I am most hurt and embarrassed by the way you speak about my relations."

"I did not mean to hurt you."

"Then you do not understand what it means to respect my feelings."

"Indeed," said Darcy, also hurt. "I am most sorry if I have hurt you. I simply wished to tell you truthfully about my own feelings—"

"While you completely forgot about my own! No, Mr Darcy! I am sorry if I cause you pain—"

"Is this your reply to my question?" he interrupted.

"Not all. I have other reasons to be upset by you. Do you think I would marry the man who has ruined the happiness of my sister?"

"It's true that I have done all I can to separate my friend from Miss Jane Bennet. But I wished to save him from an unhappy marriage. I believe I have been kinder towards him than myself."

"Have you, indeed?" cried Elizabeth angrily. This made her red in the face, and she replied, "And is this same kindness you gave to Mr Wickham?"

"Wickham? You are too interested in that gentleman's concerns," said Darcy. His face became deeper in color.

"He has told me of his troubles with you."

"His troubles!" repeated Darcy hatefully. "Oh yes, his troubles have been very great indeed!"

"How can you make fun of him? You have caused him to live his life like a poor man!"

"This is what you think of me?" cried Darcy. "I thank you for explaining your thoughts so fully. I see now that my faults with you are heavy indeed! But, perhaps," he added, "you might have forgiven me these problems if I had not hurt your pride by my honesty concerning your family. Can I say nothing that will change your feelings towards me?"

Elizabeth felt herself becoming angrier every moment. Yet she tried to speak calmly. She said, "You are mistaken again, Mr Darcy. Because you declared your love to me in this manner, I am not concerned about hurting you with my refusal."

She saw that he was ready to respond to this, but he said nothing.

"It is not only this. You could not have made me an offer of marriage in any possible way that would have caused me to accept."

Again his amazement was clear. She continued, "You know that I am being truly honest with you. When I first met you, I saw your pride, your belief that other people are below you. I also saw that you were selfish, that you do not care about the feelings of others. I felt that if you were the last man in the world, I still could never marry you!"

"You have said quite enough for now, madam. I understand perfectly your feelings, and now I have only to be ashamed of what my own feelings have been. Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time."

With these words he quickly left the room. Elizabeth heard him soon leave the house.

Her mind and heart were both in a mess. She sat down and cried for half-an-hour. She could not believe that she had received an offer of marriage from Mr Darcy! She could not believe that he had been in love with her for so many months! In fact he was so much in love that he wished to marry her despite her background—the same background that made him stop Bingley from marrying Jane! She knew then that his affection for her was very strong! But she could not forget his pride and his uncaring manner toward what he had done to Jane. Also, she remembered his coldness when she had mentioned Wickham. This soon destroyed any pity which Elizabeth had, for a moment, felt.

She cried and worried until she heard Lady Catherine's carriage. Then she hurried away to her room.

(end of section)